Mending A Broken Heart (Part 1)
Let me share how having a broken heart could lead you to be a better person by God’s grace and love.
All of us knew how hard it is to mend a broken heart. When I first saw this at a christian bookstore, I grabbed it and read the first few pages and bought it.
It was 7 years ago, I experienced the pain of being broken hearted. Lahat yata ng mga kantang naririnig ko relate na relate sa akin. Pati mga palabas sa telebisyon pakiramdam ko karamay ko ang lahat. Kapag mag-isa ako dumating na sa puntong sinabi ko sa Panginoon, “Take me Lord!!! Ngayon na!!!” (Lahat yata nang nasasaktan linya yan!) Being on that state is never been easy and it will never be. I never thought it will come to me. I am one of God’s strongest warrior. What I have learned in love, courtship and marriage seminar will help me a lot! I even had a pile of books from Joshua Harris, Elizabeth Elliot and many more. I knew at 20 years, I am more equipped! I finished my studies with no strings attached even though one of my inspiration ask to court me but I stand on what God wanted me.
Tama nga yun sinabi ng isang sikat na manunulat, “The best teacher of all is experience.” Pumasok ako sa isang OJT na tinatawag na PAG-IBIG. Akalain mo lahat ng natutunan ko nawalang lahat. Grabe laging may Senate Debate ang utak at puso ko. Paunahan kung sino sa dalawa ang unang magtataas ng puting bandera. It was never easy to put what you have learned and applied it especially when you do not experience it.
My first heartbreak was when I was in 18years old. I prayed for this man for 8years (You read it right! 10years old pa lang nagdadasal na ako para sa future husband ko! Boom!) He was a close family friend. Everybody knew I love him except him. Akala ko siya na nga. I have learned do not assume. Sinabi niya, “When I reached 30years old, we will get married.” Ayun! Boom! Naniwala naman ako!!! I was with him when he was courting someone. I was with him when he was confused if he wants to court a christian friend. I was with him when he was mending a broken heart. Then I woke up one day and he left to the place I am not able to be with him. Lalim! Ang sakit! Walang paalam! Napakanta na lang ako, “Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw ng damdamin. Sa kanya pa rin sasaya bulong ng puso ko. Kung buhay man ang ala-ala nang ating nakaraan. Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya.”
I stopped attending the church. The church where I grew my talents for the Lord. The place where I nurture my love for him. I stopped because I need to check my motives. Am I attending church for the Lord or just to see him? I decided to attend at Word of Hope where my Mom became a Christian. I remember that time there was a huge young people waiting downstairs distributing pamphlets every end of services. I could remembered Pastor Marvin. Sobrang kulit. Hindi niya ako tinatantanan. Attend daw ako ng Youth Alive. Mag-eenjoy daw ako. Pero nung mga oras na yun wala sa isip ko ang bumalik sa Youth Ministry.
WAKE UP CALL: 3PM Service preached by Pastor Manuel about Peter getting out of his boat. The passage pierced my heart and I break down. I cried. For the first time, I asked God for guidance and I prayed to heal my heart and help me to let go.
First Stage: God allowed me to grieved for my loss. I cried and opened my heart to the Lord. I asked him to take away this love I have for that person and He has the power to give and take it away.
Second Stage: Taking the one step of faith of letting go. It was never been easy. It is so hard to be out of your comfort zone. Grabe! Ang hirap! Pero kagaya ni Peter. He fixed His eyes on Jesus. Voila!!! He was able to walked on water!!! I thanked God because He never left me hanging. He put right people around me. I started to join Barnabas(Youth Alive’s New Believers Class). But still I am not attending Youth Alive. I met a lot of new friends. It was life changing.
Third Stage: Art of Moving On. Just like Peter, he was discouraged when he saw the winds and waves approaching toward him and he fall. Moving on is a transition. You need a lot of courage to leave the past behind and face the present. However, Jesus never let Peter to be drown instead he rescued him. Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us. While we are hurting, he is also hurting. He is there sympathizing with us. He knows our struggles. The battle is not ours, the Lord already won for us. All we have to do is open pur hearts and allow Him to love us.